Mutual understanding, the ability to hear and listen are the foundations of a healthy and strong relationship. Sometimes there are some problems with this. But it's okay. You can work, find reasons, eliminate misunderstandings.
The desire to start hearing each other plays a big role here. Moreover, this desire should be mutual. But the initiative is usually taken by one of the partners. The one who believes that the other half does not hear him.
What to do if you are not being heard
There are some basic recommendations in this regard. But remember that you always need to build on the specific situation, character traits, temperament of your partner.
- Don't complain. The most wrong decision would be to aggravate the situation by making claims. This most often affects women. But a similar pattern of behavior is observed in some men. Instead of a constructive dialogue, only complaints are obtained. Believe me, they will not want to hear you after this even more;
- Have serious conversations. It is important to convey to the person your position, your own vision of the situation. Tell me how you feel at such moments that you don’t like it and want to change something;
- Find out the reason. The person with whom you are in a relationship may not hear you at all on purpose. Perhaps he is also experiencing some events, plunged into himself, cannot concentrate on others. He does not care about anything at the moment, except for his own problems. Therefore, you need to find out what is on his mind. Maybe something to help. And sometimes it just needs to be left alone and given time to figure it out. There is nothing wrong with that;
- Analyze the form of communication. It is possible that they do not hear you, because they do not want to. And the reason is in the tone, the manner of communication. It is worth changing the form of presenting information, changing the tone. Some people want more affection. Others, in order to somehow stir up, it is better to say clearly, loudly. Here you should start from the character and characteristics of your partner. Nobody knows him better than you;
- Don't repeat the same thing dozens of times. If you were not heard the first or second time, then the situation is unlikely to change even after 10 times. So it’s not worth spending your nerves and strength not repeating. Better understand the problem. Together.
Sometimes just a conversation between two people solves this problem.
It is possible that your significant other simply does not see the problem. He thinks he hears, and all these claims are absolutely unfounded. So the dialogue is simply necessary here.
It is important to establish the cause
There are several reasons why your partner may not be able to hear you. Appropriate steps can be taken to resolve this issue depending on the specific circumstances.
- All thoughts are focused on something else. If a person sometimes does not hear you, perhaps it is at these moments that his thoughts are occupied with completely different problems. Talk, ask what is bothering him. Or give it time and then raise your question again;
- He doesn't want to talk about it. They don't hear you because they don't want to. Maybe it's the topic of conversation. She's nasty, he wouldn't want to pick her up. Or maybe he knows that the answer will upset or piss you off;
- The problem is exaggerated. Succumbing to emotional impulses, a woman is able to accuse a man of not hearing her. Although in fact there is no problem as such. She's just in that mood. Analyze the situation. Perhaps everything is really good here;
- He's considering a solution to your question. You said something, and the partner immediately began to analyze, look for solutions. And it seems to you that they don’t hear and don’t listen to you;
- The partner is angry at this moment. Men are emotionally very secretive. Inside, the flames may rage, but on the outside it seems completely calm. And he does not hear you just because he is trying to restrain his anger, and does not want to splash out the negative.
If you're not being heard in a relationship, don't be silent. We need a dialogue. Calm and constructive. Without claims, demands and scandals. It is important to know the reason. And if it is, then solve the problem together.
